Tuesday, December 30, 2008


In reading other blogs, the well-written, thoughtful, entertaining, interesting blogs that I aspire to be like, I find that people talk about controversial topics without worrying whether people will like them for their opinions, and that they reveal their personal feelings about intimate details of their lives. I'm not quite there yet.

I can barely even handle the basic parts of this so far - notice that most of my posts revolve around a picture or a 3/4 of a century old newspaper article. I started a blog because I had lots of thoughts in my head that I wanted to write down, and I wanted to do something more with them than just save them to my C drive when I was finished. I find myself with nothing to say more profound than "boy, this is hard."

The technical parts of it are even worse. Sitemeter? Adsense? Seems to be the thing to do on a blog, but what the heck do I actually DO? How does all this stuff work? Is there any point? HTML? Javascript? What does that even mean?

The actual soul-baring blogging that is so worth reading when it comes from others scares me when it (potentially) comes from me. Revealing my personal feelings about intimate parts of my life? That would entail telling other people my personal feelings about intimate parts of my life. What if someone I knew found this blog and found out my personal feelings about intimate parts of my life? And saying controversial things? I have plenty of thoughts on "sensitive issues" brewing in my head, but those are the ones that might make people dislike me. I'm brand new to all this. Currently, I'm disguising my general fear of rejection and being disliked behind a rational thought process that says "I have to give people an opportunity to like me before I give them ample chances to dislike me."

Maybe someday.

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